Destiny or Free Will?

I believe we come to earth to reach our highest potential and along the way, we find the tools, the gifts, the circumstances, and the people we need to accomplish this.

But the question is: is it already written or do I get a say? Are there really ancient palm leaves in a cave somewhere in India where my past, present, and future is written out and all I have to do is watch my life unfold? Or are we master “manifestors,” great creators with the power to write our own story? Or is it a little bit of both?

When I was a small child, I don’t remember having to consciously do anything to live the life I was meant to live. Meaningful events and inspiration would appear as out of nowhere and I’d confidently take a step toward my joy. Awe seemed to be guiding me, propelling me from one moment to the other, transporting me to explore my innate curiosity. I trusted people and situations, and it made me feel connected to the moment. There was no need for me to “figure things out,” yet huge moments, peak experiences still occurred.

If I think about it now, it seemed like an invisible energy was running the show, and I was naturally being guided along this thread that was my path.

I see this with my children now. They are at an age where they don’t yet worry about time or concern themselves with who they are to others and what they should be doing at any moment. They simply are. If it feels fun, they do it. And there are peak experiences, moments when my husband and I can glimpse into a thread, a mysterious premonition, as if giving hints to the bigger picture. I know they are not consciously manifesting this. They simply are present, here now, to their joy, and their pain too. They know what moves them and what pushes them away.

As I got older, like many of us, I began to measure and strategize more. I stopped spontaneously feeling and being my way through life. I wasn’t sure I loved that emotional and spirited part of me anymore, feeling and being didn’t seem to be a “safe” and smart way to live. It didn’t seem to be helping me with what I thought was important at that time.

As a teenager, although I wasn’t sure I loved “me” anymore and lost sight of that innate self, I realized that if I put in the time, the effort, and the dedication I could accomplish anything I wanted. I began to think and plan with my rational mind, which led to a life that was tightly managed and controlled. I started to make things happen. And on I went into the world determined to do and accomplish.

I “did” a lot. I “accomplished” a lot. Unconsciously, I was doing things mostly to please other people. And then, right around the time I turned 30, I realized that I could only live like this for much longer.

Along the way, I had gradually shut down the part of me that used to be so connected and present to my innate self and my joy. Who I had become was a mental construct and I found myself in a place where I didn’t know who I truly was anymore and what it meant to love myself. Although I could still make things happen, the things I was manifesting didn’t have the excitement or the inner reward I’d hope for. Eventually it was harder and took longer to make anything happen. Everything was hard work and I got really tired and began to lose my “joie de vivre.” And one day, even though I’d worked so hard toward my goal, I just couldn’t make it happen.

I had gone too far off the path, where there is very little magic, very few surprises, and no awe. It was time for me to come back home. And I did.

There is a way that is easy, fun, and that inspires others. There is a way that brings us to a place beyond our wildest dreams. I believe there is a thread that is our destiny. And when we follow this thread, we have help, we have support. When we step onto this path, we embark on the journey of realizing our soul, our highest potential.

I believe we decided on this before we came to earth. We chose to come with the tools and gifts we needed to accomplish our mission. We also choose the people and the challenges that would help us deepen our experience of that mission. In this way, it is all written.

But I also believe we are incredibly powerful creators. We can manifest anything we want, truly. We were born with free will. And what we put out attention on will grow. When we put our attention on our deep inner self, on this thread, and we choose to remember this original choice, the big “why” we came, we can create magic here on earth, and manifest beyond our wildest dreams.

When we are being careful and we act out of fear, we move away from the thread. When we make decisions solely based on our conditioned mind, disconnected from our inspiration and our intuitive stirs, we move away from the path. Things don’t manifest as well over there and we feel like there is something missing.

When we know who we are, and we love and value ourselves just as we are, when we allow ourselves to feel again, to trust in our own brilliance, we enter the flow of the path. There, synchronicities, celestial beings, and Divine Love help us. Things happen faster, bigger. There is more excitement, surprise, and joy. We are guided within to the intelligence of our path. We are supported.

Today the call from within me is stronger then the will to control and manage. My heart nudges me back when I forget who I am. And when I forget for too long, it screams at me. I am human, I forget. But I know now not to ignore the call when it shows up. That is my choice.

Every single moment we get to either remember that mission or forget it. Every single moment we get to decide to live from that connected place, like when we were children, and open our hearts and mind to the guidance and the inspiration of our hearts, or we get to decide if we will compromise on who we know our self to be deep down.

I would probably find my life written on those leaves. At the same time I know it is possible for me to stray and get lost. That’s where my free will comes in. The less we compromise on who we truly are and why we are here, the more creative our life will be and the more our music will inspire others. That is our destiny.