If you are anything like me and growing up you adopted "pleasing" as a way of being seen and validated by your environment, then pleasing has kept you safe for a long, long time. Pleasing has built walls so you could protect yourself emotionally, spiritually and perhaps even physically, and survive your world. And maybe you have embarked on a journey of letting go of pleasing others in this way that is not healthy for you, and you know that others’ happiness and comfort is not your job nor your responsibility anymore. Maybe you have realized that what you really want is to know yourself beyond this pattern and you want to be able to love in a different way, with healthy boundaries. I get you.

Then you might come to a point where you ponder this question:  who was I before I began to please? Who was the little boy or the little girl before they fragmented into multiple “selves” to accommodate, to keep the peace, to manage others’ emotions? And when you...