Many of us who grew up learning to please in order to belong and to be seen. That was how love was modelled. We have this twisted belief that boundaries are unkind, unsafe, restrictive, not loving, and not generous. What we weren’t told is that without healthy boundaries we wither, dry out, shrivel and disappear. Not to be dramatic but many of us will give what we don’t have trying to fill a hole in others that can’t be filled until we reach the end of our precious supply and die. I see it all the time. The fear of losing “love” is so strong that disappearing is more appealing. But no one benefits from you leaving. What we need is your light. And for that you have to protect it, fiercely.

Take your cues from the tree   It knows how to honour life with clarity and groundedness, and to not take crap that will compromise its sacred life. True love for Self, Divine love for Soul, is not sacrifice and misery. If the tree did that, we would all...